Not Just An Affair

Hello, my name is Joe, and I live in Chatsworth, Ga. At 17, I asked
Jesus to come into my heart, and I believe He did. But I never understood
how to get Him into my LIFE until over 20 years later, at the age of
40. All those years I had been telling God what I wanted Him to do, and
all that time, He'd been waitng for me to ask Him what He wanted ME to
do. Oh, all the wasted years; the broken dreams, hearts, and shattered
lives. The family and children whom I loved SO much (and
likewise)...GONE. How many times I had begged God to take the drug addiction. How many
times I had begged for the return of my children. How many times I had
flirted with the thought of suicide. But I never got what I wanted; I
only got worse.

Then one day, in an act of total desperation, I fell down in the
floor of my lonely home, and began to plead with God, with my whole being
(all I had left),"Lord, what do You want from me? What do You want me
to do? I don't really want to die, but I can't live like this anymore!
PLEASE help me! PLEASE tell me what You would have me to do- I'll do
ANYTHING"!!!

Well, it was just that simple. He wanted me; not just my problems.
And though I had to struggle for a while with addictions, and ended up in
jail ONE LAST time, before I turned everything completely over to Him,
and was set completely free; even so, now we have a personal and very
loving relationship, instead of just an affair! Now I know that He is
MUCH MORE than just some genie in a bottle that you let out to grant a
wish, and then put back on a shelf; no, HE'S GOD!!! And the more I seek
to know His will for me, the more I learn to serve and please Him. And
the more I serve and please Him, the more I learn to worship Him. And
the more I worship Him, the more and more He pleases me and blesses me,
day after day, time and again, over and over; with much more than I
would have ever dared to ask for !!! The terrible oppression of over 20
years of accute drug addiction and alcoholism... COMPLETELY GONE!!! Now
I'm laughing and ENJOYING LIFE again; much more than ever before! And
I now have a purpose in life; "TELL OTHERS"!!!

One day, I was painting on the outside of the church building where I
was employed, and I was thinking that alot of people were going to be
slow to except me, because of my terrible past; when I very distinctly
heard someone say to me: "You will be a POWERFUL WITNESS" !!! WOAH, I
almost fell off the ladder! Soon afterward I was asked if I wanted to
help start a jail ministry in that church, and we began to go to the local
jail...as MINISTERS; where I spent MUCH of my life (behind bars), and I
encouraged others to try giving themselves WHOLLY over to JESUS!!! Many
of the inmates knew me; many were once some of my closest friends, back
when I was "Joey the Junkie" (or Joey "Jones", mockingly, as I would do
just about anything for another dose), and they were AMAZED at the
complete turn around - the difference that the presence of God has made in
my life, and what God is doing in and through me! Many of them told me
over and over how proud they were of me! But I was quick to
tell them that it was certainly nothing that I did; I could never do
ANYTHING right! All I did was call on God, and submit my will to Him, and
He did (and still does) the rest!!! I told them that He would be just
as sure to do the same for them - if only they would freely want Him to
do so! But they have to be willing to give it all up - a life of
misery, total failure, and slow but sure death...for a life of JOY, COUNTLESS
BLESSINGS, and ETERNAL LIFE WITH GOD as our FATHER !!!

And though I am no longer in full time jail ministry, God uses me,
almost everyday; and I am proof that there is REALLY hope; a SURE way to
break that last needle, ONCE AND FOR ALL; and live a MUCH better life
in Christ Jesus, and with all the benefits that come with being a "SON
OF GOD" !!!

Listen, maybe someone, somewhere, at sometime will read this, who is
standing in the same shoes I use to walk in. My father died at the age
of 32, with scirosis of the liver, from a life of accute alcoholism. I
was 11 years old.Then my mother, who had been a pharmaceutical drug
addict, and in and out of Milledgeville state hospital in her past, died
less than 2 years later, at 33; I was 13. I was so confused. I felt
unloved, unwanted, and so alone... believing the lies of satan. In reality,
I had family who loved me and wanted (and tried) to help me, and even
more so, I now know that God wanted to help me, but I wouldn't let
anyone close to me. I felt that anyone I loved, DIED! I began to be
rebellious against family AND God.

So I started doing other drugs, besides pot, which I had been smoking
since around 11; harder stuff, like pills (both uppers and downers),
acid (LSD), and psilocybin (psychedelic) mushrooms. Somewhere around 16,
I used the needle for the first time. Then at 17, I was court ordered
to a Christian drug rehabilitation center in Corpus Christi, Tx. for
one year, where I had asked Jesus to save me, and I even stayed on
another year, as a staff member. And I thank God for Roloff Enterprises, and
the Lighthouse, where I learned to love God's word, and some very
important values, but I had never totally surrendered my life to Christ. I
held on to my rebel pride (proud of what, I may never understand), and
that old liar began to whisper once again: "You're a rebel and an
outcast; live hard and die fast" !!!

So I left (before God said to), and there I went again. The choices I
made drew me away from God. The deception of satan made me believe that
I would always be just like my parents, and that I would die by the age
of 32 or 33; I believed it was my destiny!

BUT... when I was STILL ALIVE at 35, realizing I had outlived them, I
decided that I might live a while longer, after all. But I had SO
destroyed my life by then. Though I had never been legally married( that is,
I had never had a licensed marriage), I had 3 children by 2 different
women who had lived with me, and I had been divorced 2 times (there use
to be a common law marriage in Ga.; no more); but the youngest 2's mom
shot and killed a man when our daughter Tiffany was 1 year old, and our
son Joseph was only a month old! She was in prison, and after raising
these 2 by myself for 3-1/2 years, the state took them from me (though I
loved all my children with all my heart; and vice-versa), because I was
jail prone, and had no one else to help with them, when I got into
trouble with the law. Then my oldest, Candy (who's mom had remarried), was
mad at me for losing her half brother and sister, and she stopped
coming around. There was nothing left to live for... or, so I thought.

But, FINALLY, all the wrong choices and the long hard roads led me
RIGHT BACK TO JESUS; like I had walked around the world, on burning sand
and frozen seas, until I came back to my REASON FOR LIVING; it was
JESUS, ready to HEAL and FORGIVE !!!

So, it wasn't too late for me after all. Several of my past friends
are now dead. Some of them died from drug overdoses; some from
drug/alchohol related accidents. Some got killed over drug deals gone bad. Some
blew their own brians out. Others are in prison (some for killing
others). I think that at least 1 is now demon possessed, but doesn't realize
it, or else can't except it, in order to deal with it. I am lucky to be
alive, and have my sanity; much less all the benefits that have now
come from turning to God. Oh, but to think of how sweet my life could have
been, if I had simply trusted God to begin with. None the less, life is
great, because God is SO GOOD!!! So LOVING and FORGIVING !!!

People, please don't ever walk away from God. Believe me, His way is
SO MUCH BETTER! And if You have left God's will, please come back,
right now; today! Each day seperated from God produces destruction, ruin,
and death.But each day in His presence adds to life, and that more and
more abundant, as each new day unfolds! May God bless You more and more,
as You seek to please Him.

"Thank You, God; for loving us SO MUCH" !!!

For God didn't send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save it." John 3:17
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