I am no longer who I was, delivered from life of drugs
I grew up in a Christian home, i was homeschooled all through high school, went to church every sunday. My life looked like your average Christian kid, though i had never made a commitment. When I turned 18 i moved from my dad's house into my mom's, away from my sheltered life into the big city of Houston with no real discipline. I wasnt there long before i started smoking pot and staying out late partying. I lost all the christian morals i had grown up with, and took on the lifestyle of the world. it wasnt long before my mother kicked me out of the house for pot. I had also gotten into LSD. After getting the boot from my mom i moved into a squat house. it was now even easier to get and do drugs. and i didn't have to hide being messed up anymore.
i was never sober and stayed that way, even at work i was two sheets in the wind. i went to all night rave parties every weekend expermenting with every drug i could get my hands on. i attempted to clean up and moved out to dallas after about 6 months of squating. i got a job in construction and turned to alchol instead of drugs. i was in dallas about 4 months when i started getting back into drugs again. i had my first brakedown in march of 1998 and moved back to houston to clean up again. i cleaned up for maybe a month but around all the same old people, turned again to my nasty drug habbits. i was doing alot of meth, xtc, LSD, and pot. i weighed a little over 100lbs. at 6ft tall. my brother who i was living with got conserned for me and made me move back in with my mom. once again i cleaned up but only for a few weeks, once again i started sneeking out and getting high.
in february of 1999 i moved into my first apartment with a few friends. it became a party central for our area of town. people i didnt even know where talking about our apartment. We had all kinds of drugs come through there. we sold weed and LSD to help pay the rent. we where just a bunch of new wave hippies partying and getting messed up, lost in our lies. we got evicted after about 6 month s for drug traffiking.
i moved into a few of my friends apartments couch hoping for a few months before i roomed with another old friend, again we turned the place into a party central, selling drugs and getting messed up. i moved out of there when my lease was up and moved in with another friend. I had the same lifestyle selling and doing drugs mostly doing. I had all kinds of friends. and partying was our life.
In december of 2000 i took some bad acid and tripped out. i tried to kill myself by jumping off a roof. this would be the first point of me trying to turn to God. I turned my life over to God but it didnt last long i was tired of drugs. but around the same people all the time its hard to brake the habbit. i started doing meth and smoking pot again and taking tabs though i did stay far away from acid. in January i ODed on meth and had to go to the hospital. i continued to have flash backs and my mental state rapidly went down hill. i was on all kinds of anti depressents and seeing three doctors. i got into my first serious relationship about march. we where living together in no time. i stopped doing hard drugs but continued to smoke pot daily. i had stopped seeking God again and hated when people would talk to me about it.
I had gotten even more suicidial and would even burn myself when too stressed. in august i found out i was going to be a father. Then about half way through the month my girlfriend told me she was leaving me to live with her mom. I didnt think i was going to be able to make it. that's when my sister asked me to move back up to the Dallas area with her and her husband and her daughter. i was away from drugs, my old friends and could start fresh, i was still depressed and a little off in the head.
i couldnt see any worth in my life. My sis and her husband where in the middle of a rocky part of there marriage when they asked his brother an associate pastor to come over one day to talk to them. the day he came niether of them where home. i began to talk to him and he said some really good things, i could see light and i could feel a hunger coming over me.
i decided that night to surrender my life to Christ. i was baptised December 2nd and then had a chance to speak my first message on the 9th of this last year. i still struggel with some of my old life but i have learned to give it to the Lord it's His battle that He has already won. and when my past comes to haunt me i remember paul in Phillipians 3:13-14 talking about forgetting the past and moving forward to the prize.
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