How God changed my life.
I donít exactly know what the standard testimony is supposed to be, so I am just going to say how I feel and how God has changed my life. Let me tell you a little about my childhood, that you probably donít know. My real dad left my mom, when I was three. He went to the army, and got stationed in Korea. Life was going well with him; he didnít have to face up to the fact that he left my mom and me. My mom, however, was left with a house payment, car payment, and just basically everything else. She had to be strong not for her, but for me. I wonder how she got the strength?
Then she met my step dad. They dated for about two months and decided to get married, I think I was about 5 or 6. We moved in with his parents in Bokoshe. As I grew up, I really didnítí want him to take the place of my dad, because I mean, he was my dad. So really any chance I got I was hateful, or a smart alleck. My step dad, has not had the most glorious life. The way he was raised up is a lot different, than normal. So therefor, I was brought up in this fashion. When I was around 10, like any kid, I thought I knew everything so I was a smart mouth. My step dad has physically abused me. I really donít know, how to say that, in a way to where it is not as bad as it sounds. I remember going to school angry, and so mad! My mom is the type of person, to let things go by. She would scream or try to make him stop whatever he was doing to me and when he would stop nothing would be said, if it was I was never around. AsI got older and more angry I didnít want to sit there and let someone push me through a wall, so I fought back! Which I shouldnít have.
This whole time, I have been going to church at my local church. Sometimes with my little sister, or with my mom. My grandparents usually took me because mom, was either working or to tired, to take me. I was actually saved and baptized when I was 12. I would sit there and see my friends, with their moms and dads, and I was envious. I wanted that stability.
In my small town, people just come and go. I mean, there is not just anyone really who stands out. A lot, of my classmatesí hod now become pregnant, or married. I thought that was what I was supposed to be doing to, because even in our church it was excepted. There was never a black or white wrong or right, it was always gray. I played softball, with a lot of older people. They drank, because it was the cool thing to do. So I drank to fit in and be excepted. As I got older I was exposed even more to the temptations of drugs, and sex, and this whole time I had everyone fooled. Or so I thought. No one thought that I would be doing this kind of stuff. I mean I went to church, and people didnít think stuff like this was going on, and even if they did it was OK.
A couple of weeks before church camp, my grandma had told me that Debbie didnít get the job at Keota. I was really bummed out by the whole thing because she wouldnít be closer to home. I went to church camp, when I called home to see how everyone was doing. My grandma had told me that Debbie got a job in keota. I was so excited for her, because now she was closer to home, and I knew that this was my chance for a new start. She told me that she had to tell me somethingÖI was like what is it. Shen said youíll have to wait till you get home. I begged her and got it out of her. She told me that I could go live with her. I was so excited, you actually have no idea. Now that I look back God had a plan for me, and this is where He changed my life
Over the next summer we moved and started practicing softball. I started a new school, with new friends and new people. I remember the first day I came to this church, I was so scared, because I knew that everyone was going to be staring at me, like who is that? I listened to Bro. Mark preach, and was so intrigued, by his intensity. It was like I have to have what he has. I saw the youth in the front. People actually going to the altar. I mean people actually openly expressing their love for someone in a positive way. I knew in my heart a change was going to come about, just not when and how. About six months later, it donned on me that I going to go to hell. I had said I wanted Jesus to come into my life when I was younger, but didnít let him, just closed the door in his face. By now though I am feeling totally different about my faith, but am still scared to do anything publicly, because I am in this new place. One Sunday morning I felt this feeling in my heart, I have no idea what exactly it was, yeah I do, It was the Holy Spirit! I walked down there to the altar, and felt this awesome presence, that someone was sitting there with me. I repented my life, and devoted my self to Him.
Now, I wake up everyday, and say Thank You just for giving me just another day to live. The chances to get to maybe pray with someone, or to witness to someone. I am not afraid anymore of failing, or what people think. I know everyone sins, and weíre all only forgiven by the Blood. In the Bible it says, "Ask and ye shall receiveÖ" No one is perfect, but now I have an assurance that even though there I may sin, I will be forgiven if I ask. I now have a goal that I am striving to reach eveyday, and I know that I am weak and that I am going to fall but with Him I can pick myself up and keep going. For He is strong, and I canít do it without Him!