A homosexual man gives his life to JESUS.
I really don't know where to start but here it goes. I was
brought up in the Lord with a mother that loved me so very
much, and a father that loved me but didn't like me.
It is true- It happens sometimes. There is one of the mother or father
that loves you, but really doesn't like you.
I grew up without the love of my father and growing up, I
thought not much of it having my mother there loving me.
As I grew I looked for love in all the wrong places and it was all with
men. I grew up hoping to find that love that I didn't get from my
My father was a good provider and did go to church sometimes
when I was young. He did get better as the years when by.
As I got older- we just didn't get along and I just didn't enjoy
being around him. He just didn't like being around me.
Well back to the story, around 1980 my mother began forgetting
things and even was getting lost when shopping. I knew what it was. It
was what her mother died of and it was alzhimeres .I dodn't think I
spelled it right, oh well.
As time went on, mother got worse and I found myself closer to her than
ever, and my father didn't like me spending time putting her makeup on
and making her feel nice.
One day he told me to stop doing that and that it
was his job , so I did what he said and it hurt me very much.
Around 1990 even though I was brought up in the Lord, I was
saved at the Westwood Church of God. I just was changed and
excited about it. For months I walked in the Lord away from
the gay lifestye.
But there was one thing I did wrong and that
was I still kept them (homosexuals) as friends.
I thought at the time, that I was stong enough to control the flesh and
I was wrong.
I remember the Holy Spirit telling me, "what I was doing was
wrong". It was like as if I was playing baseball every time I
sinned. He would say you only have three strikes and then two and
then one and finally none.
I knew what He meant- it was AIDS.
At the time, I was running and taking care of myself and
thought to make my mind at peace and take the Aids test.
It was positive.
The Lord warned me three times and I didn't listen.
Well, I wanted to tell my sister because my father had so much
in his hands with my mother, I just could not tell him. I called
my sister from the Hospital and I told her that I wanted to talk
She new because I had told her what I had done. Well
we met that day, but she just didn't know how to handle it, so I
was still all alone.
Weeks went by and I just couldn't keep it in me anymore.
I had to tell someone and as I drove into the horse farm; I drove
next to my father as he was cutting the grass, and stopped and
started telling him how my sister was treating me and that she
never calls or looks for me.
Then it came out I told him and his head went down and he turned off
the tractor and didn't say anything for what seemed for ever.
Then you looked at me and said that he would care for me and not to
worry. That is what I needed at the time to hear.
I thought the best thing was to put everything in his name-
my car, my home everything.
My mother died in the winder of 96 and it was hard on all of us.
I knew where she was- she was with the lord and that was better
than the state she was in for so many years.
My father took it hard very hard and just was never the same. We became
close for some months and I enjoyed that love he showed but it didn't
Something when wrong and dad got prostate cancer and they
found it just in time. Dad was a really strong man and he never
wanted people to help him in anyway. After the operation he really
wasn't the same and I saw him grow older.
Well months passed and thank God, Dad put all his life in the Church.
He came over to my house telling me that he was having trouble
breathing and I told him that he needed to go to the hospital.
Even though he was hard on me, I alway cared for him and looked
out for him and I think he liked that. That night we had to take
him to the Hospital and the Docter's told me and my sister
that my father had over four heart attacks, and he was going
to have to have surgery.
I saw him everyday and brought him what ever he wanted. Since I was not
married I could spend more time with him. Well the surgery when well
and he was to come home on a Sunday and that Sunday I didn't go to
church because I was caring for some animals out of town.
I called him that day and asked him how he was doing and he said he was
ready to go over to my sisters, when he got his strength.
I remember the night before that I told him how much I loved him and
that there was no one that loved him as much as I did.
Well back to Sunday. We talked and he was really happy to be leaving
the Hospital. I told him that my sister was going to pick him up after
she got out of church and later in the day I would go and see him
again. I told him how much I loved him and that was all.
About 15min after talking to him I got a call from my sister
to come to the Hospital. He died not long after talking to me.
As much as he was so hard and mean to me- I loved him with all
I had to think fast- what do I do? I wasn't at my best of health and
I had so much to do , and you know now that I look back on it- God had
everythng in His hand. My sister just could not handle it. I had to
take over everything but it wasn't me it was God working in me. As weak
as I was I had to find help with a lawyer and I didn't have the money
to pay the mortgage. I really don't know how it worked out.
One day I had a yard sale that took me weeks to get ready.
Thanks for some friends from my father's Church and some friends
of mine. We put up the yard sale with a great turn out. Someone
thought it would be a good idea to put a sign 'Home for sale', and the
We didn't even finish writing the sign and two ladys wanted the farm.
One lady said she was running to the bank to get 5000.00 down payment.
I could not believe what the Lord was doing. It was happening like it
was planned. Now that that was taken care of, now it was me- that the
Lord had to help.
My house was on the farm. Where was I going to live?
One day me and my sister, when driving to trailer parks
looking for something I could afford , but I didn't have any money. The
second place, I felt that this was the place and the
lady the owned it was willing to work with me. Well I moved in and did
work out to give her 2000.00 I didn't know how I got. A little from
the yard sale and some I had in the bank and some from my sister.
Well to make a long story short God fixed what I could not do.
Now my life is all for the Lord and I'm happier than I've
I would like to say to anyone that reads this. It is not
your power that will make things happen- ONLY GODS POWER.
I Pray day and night and read The Word. I found a church that is
filled with the Holy Spirit and follows the Bible- Word for Word.
Wait on the Lord. He will never let you down.
It might not be the way you thought or the time you thought, but He
will never let you down.
I can't look back on my sin and I will not!
In Jesus' name AMEN!